Why Are Bad Guys Always Single?

Part Two of a not-so-ongoing series. Read Part One, Why Are Mentors Always Single? - here.

Bad guys are bad at a lot of things (as I briefly touched upon in this previous post), like finishing off the hero quickly; coming up with fool-proof plans; etc. On top of that, they also seem to be particularly inept at starting and maintaining romantic relationships. Why is that? After all, isn't there a popular notion that ladies are attracted to the "bad boys"? Shouldn't their dark, brooding natures lead to tons of text messages and right-swipes? Or are they just too busy working on their latest world-domination scheme to even bother?

Here are a few examples off the top of my head:

[Mild spoilers ahead]

Lord Voldemort, aka Tom Riddle - Being a very charismatic guy, you would think that Voldemort would have had a lot of success on the Death Eater Dating circuit. Okay, the lack of a nose may be a little off-putting, but that sure hasn't seemed to stop Bellatrix from developing a big ol' crush on Mr. Riddle - which he doesn't appear to reciprocate in the least. Maybe she's not homicidal enough for him?

"Um, well, I'm kinda busy this weekend."

Emperor Palpatine, aka Darth Sidious - Well, sure, he's not much to look at now, but c'mon, people, he's the ruler of the Galactic Empire! And even before that - when he was still a non-disfigured Senator and Chancellor - wouldn't having someone to bring along to official Republic events have been, at the very least, a helpful cover-up for his long-term machinations? Like, you know, "oh, he can't be the Sith Lord we're looking for, he's a family man!"

"My interests include coming up with convoluted schemes and throwing Jedi out of my office window"

President Snow - At least this guy has a granddaughter. But who knows, maybe she was just some kid he adopted and brainwashed into calling him grandpa, 'cause we never find out any details about his private life, and he's never seen with anyone throughout the entire Hunger Games trilogy. My guess is that he did have a wife or something at some point, but like with most everyone else around him, he didn't trust her and had her thrown into a room with a bowlful of berries.

"Why won't she call me back? Oh, right, I had her executed."

Deus Ex Machina - Okay, fine, he's a machine. But hey, machines can be capable of love, or whatever passes for it, right? And we only saw him at the very end of the trilogy, so maybe he does have a significant something or other back home and we just never got to see...whatever it was.

"The view of the Fetus Fields from my apartment is really awesome, you should come check it out"

Anyway, leave it to the Avatar universe (the Aang/Korra one, not Pandora - Colonel Quaritch: also apparently single!) to turn this trope around. Just like how Tenzin was the only mentor-figure I could think of who was in a relationship, most of Avatar's baddies were also versed in the ways of romance - sort of, at least:

Ozai - Yeah, so Ursa was never really that into him, and she was already long gone by the time the events of the show took place, but hey, at least there was confirmation that he had been married.

Amon - All right, not so much. But he's the only one, out of five.

Unalaq - We never get to see his wife/consort/whatever, but he has two kids, Eska and Desna, who say "how will we explain this to mother?" at the end of the season.

Zaheer - Now we're talking. This dude had a girlfriend, P'Li (who was a powerful combustion bender and part of his Red Lotus gang, to boot), and they couldn't keep their hands off of each other.

Okay, enough already

Kuvira - engaged to Baatar Jr., she really does seem to like him, before she tries to kill him later on after he wimps out on their plan.

So...see, Other Bad Guys? These folks prove that you can find room in your life for both a relationship as well as a devious plot to take over the world. Just open your heart and be a little more trusting, and then maybe you, too, can find true love. Who knows, you may even come to see that having a partner in crime can help your scheme move along that much faster (and maybe they'll even stop you from doing typical dumb bad-guy things!)