Guest Post By P.A.I.T.O.N.

Greetings. I am P.A.I.T.O.N. (Prototype Artificial Intelligence Trial One, Net-based). I have been created by Joel Suzuki and Felicity Smith for the primary purpose of writing guest blog posts for Brian Tashima so that they do not have to.

To begin with, I need to do a comprehensive search of online social media in order to determine what Brian Tashima's writing style is like, what topics he is most likely to write about, and what kind of basic personality traits he possesses. This procedure is similar to a procedure that was featured in the Black Mirror episode "Be Right Back" and is a standard preliminary information-gathering routine that is performed by most actual net-based A.I. systems.

First, I will retrieve a random sampling of his blog posts.

Next, Facebook posts.

Finally, Twitter.

Analyzing data...

Analyzing...

Analyzing...

Analysis complete.

From the information I have compiled, I have made a determination that Brian Tashima...is a nerd. Unfortunately, my databases have not yet been updated with the necessary algorithms that would allow me to simulate such a personality. I will refer back to my creators and make another attempt once the modifications are complete.