Felicity Tries To Explain Television To Fireflower

Hey, Felicity here, filling in once again while Brian is off doing who-knows-what. Anyway, my friend Fireflower happened to be visiting this week, and she asked me if I could introduce her to some popular Earth-style recreational activities. So I figured, what's more popular than watching TV? And besides, she already gets enough outdoor exercise back in Spectraland running away from elephant-sharks and other assorted beasties.

Felicity: All right, so this is how we do it. We plop ourselves on this thing called a "couch," turn the TV on, and bam. Away we go. Super easy.
Fireflower: And...what did you say this beverage is called, again?
Felicity: Diet cola. Delicious, right?
Fireflower: Um...if you say so.
Felicity: Okay, so this is one of my favorites. Joel likes it too. It's called "Doctor Who."
Fireflower: Remind me again, please, what "it" is.
Felicity: Oh, right. By "it," I mean a show. A program. Which is like a story, but with pictures.
Fireflower: Moving pictures. With actual people.
Felicity: Right. But they're not actually doing whatever it is they're doing.
Fireflower: It seems to me as if they are doing things. Are you trying to tell me that that man is not running away from those...whatever those are?
Felicity: Daleks. And no, yeah, he's really running, but he's not actually in real danger or anything like that. He's acting.
Fireflower: Acting?
Felicity: Pretending. Don't you guys have story time in Spectraland? Like, when someone pretends to be a slimeback or something?
Fireflower: We do, but this looks so...real.
Felicity: I know, right? That's what's awesome about TV. They have, like, props and special effects and makeup and stuff.
Fireflower: I see.
Felicity: Okay, here's another good one. This is the new version of "DuckTales."
Fireflower: Those...those are not real people.
Felicity: Yeah, I know. This is a cartoon.
Fireflower: A cartoon?
Felicity: Animation. It's like when you draw lots of pictures and then show them all in a row, it looks like they're moving.
Fireflower: But the pictures are speaking. And rather oddly, I must say.
Felicity: Only Donald talks like that. Anyway, actual people do the speaking. Someone records them and then they play the recording along with the pictures.
Fireflower: And they are able to match up the words with the movements of the pictures?
Felicity: Yeah.
Fireflower: That is impressive.
Felicity: I guess it is. Oh, here's something else I wanted you to see.
Fireflower: What show is this?
Felicity: It's not really a show. It's a baseball game.
Fireflower: And are those people pretending?
Felicity: No, this is for real. It's a sporting event. Like, you know how you have those wavebow duels back in Spectraland? It's kind of like that, but someone is broadcasting it, showing it to everyone who wants to watch it.
Fireflower: Ah, I see. Quite amazing. So these are two teams competing against each other?
Felicity: You got it.
Fireflower: And based on what I have learned of your written language, it appears as if the team called the "Mariners" is currently losing?
Felicity: Um, yeah. Don't get me started.
Fireflower: Well, Miss Felicity, I thank you for this introduction to your "television" device. Based on what I have seen, I can certainly understand how your people are able to spend many hours watching it.
Felicity: No problem. And hey, if you think that's cool, wait 'til I show you this next thing.
Fireflower: Oh?
Felicity: Yeah, it's called video games.
Fireflower: How exciting. And I think I will have another one of these "diet colas," after all.
Felicity: Now you're really catching on.

Editor's note: we here at the Brian Tashima blog do not endorse prolonged physical inactivity and would recommend a regular exercise routine as part of a balanced and healthy lifestyle

Felicity's note: yeah, whatever