Thursday, March 21, 2019

Roundtable Discussion: Avengers Endgame

Since by now everyone's seen Captain Marvel as well as the final Avengers: Endgame trailer (you've seen them, right?) I figured it would be good to have a roundtable discussion of Endgame where we all discuss our favorite theories and predictions for the movie. Here we go!
Brian: Hey, so thanks for being here today, everyone.
Felicity: Not like we have a choice.
Brian: I don't know what you mean by that. Anyway, Avengers: Endgame! Who's excited?
Joel: I am.
Fireflower: I am, as well.
Felicity: What is an "Avengers: Endgame"?
Brian: Ha, ha. So, what do you guys think is gonna happen?
Joel: That's a very broad question.
Brian: True. I dunno, just start saying stuff.
Joel: Well, I think the events of the movie will take place over a long period of time, maybe even a year or so.
Fireflower: Why do you say that?
Joel: Because of Black Widow's hair. It's short in some scenes, including the mid-credits scene from Captain Marvel, but then it's much longer in others.
Felicity: Maybe she got extensions.
Joel: Maybe.
Brian: I doubt it, though. I think Joel's right. They probably need a lot of time to come up with a plan, integrate Carol into the team, find Ant-Man and Hawkeye-slash-Ronin, stuff like that.
Felicity: Guess they can take their time piecing everything together since Thanos is now just chilling at his retirement cottage.
Brian: Exactly.
Fireflower: What do you suppose their plan will be, exactly?
Felicity: It's gotta be some kind of time-travel dealio involving the Quantum Realm. I mean, it's pretty obvious that all those matching white suits are for that purpose.
Joel: I agree.
Brian: Speaking of time travel...
Felicity: We haven't been doing any of that, I swear.
Brian: No, what I was gonna say was, since we know Captain Marvel's powers don't include time travel, how do you suppose they'll explain why she looks exactly the same in 2019 as she did in 1995?
Felicity: Lots of sunscreen and moisturizer.
Joel: Well, some people's looks don't change all that much. For example, you look like you did back in 1995.
Brian: Oh, why, thank you.
Joel: Except you've lost a lot of hair.
Brian: Erm.
Fireflower: I believe the answer is genetics. Since she now has some Kree DNA, it causes her to age slower.
Felicity: A-ha. I think something like that was even in the comics. Nice one, boss. I see your research is paying off.
Fireflower: Yes, it is.
Brian: Okay, so back to the plan. What are they gonna do, just go back and tell Quill not to be an idiot this time? Or tell Thor to go for the head?
Felicity: Sure, yeah. It'll be two hours and fifty-five minutes of people sitting around talking, saying "I like this one" and then five minutes of retconned action. Bam, done.
Joel: You're being sarcastic, right?
Felicity: Dude.
Fireflower: I am sure it will be much more complex than that. Perhaps once they travel through the Quantum Realm, they will be separated and encounter a number of new obstacles along the way before they finally reunite and confront Thanos one last time.
Felicity: You mean "assemble." Ha! See what I did there.
Brian: That sounds plausible to me.
Joel: We'll just have to wait until the movie comes out.
Brian: Five more weeks.
Joel: Thirty-six more days, actually.
Fireflower: I am looking forward to it.
Felicity: Me too. Can't wait.
Brian: Are you guys gonna dress up?
Joel: Probably. I haven't decided as who yet, though.
Fireflower: The same goes for me.
Felicity: I'm reusing my Captain Marvel costume. Gotta get your money's worth out of it.
Brian: Wait, what did you just say?
Felicity: Nothing.

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