Thursday, May 12, 2016

Movie Roundup: Family Feud Edition

All right, as promised in the previous episode of Movie Roundup, here are my thoughts on the latest batch of movies I've managed to watch! And remember: these are not really reviews, they're just my stream-of-consciousness observations and reactions. Also, there will be spoilers...

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Look, I'm not going to bash this movie. I'm just not. You can find plenty of that elsewhere on the Internet. Okay, sure, maybe it wasn't the greatest superhero film ever, and I tend to be rather forgiving (I enjoyed the Star Wars prequels), but to be honest, I had a decently good time. And really, isn't that what we go to the movies for? I liked the fact that Batman now has an actual voice-changing device in his suit, as opposed to the DIY approach employed by previous incarnations of the character. Remember in The Dark Knight Rises, when Catwoman* bails on him and he says "so that's how that feels?" Every time I see that, I think, why are you saying that in the Batman voice? Is that really necessary? Dude, there's no one around to hear you!

Captain America: Civil War
This was a really good movie. Although, I didn't think it was as super-epic-OMG-awesome as everyone seems to be making it out to be. I dunno, perhaps I just need to see it again. After all, I liked The Force Awakens more the second time around, right? There, that's me talking myself into giving Marvel and Disney even more of my money. Tom Holland = great choice as Peter Parker. Still, I kinda wish they had gone in the Miles Morales direction. Oh well. Let's see, what else...oh yeah, I did not see the whole twist at the end coming, the one that makes Iron Man fight Cap and Bucky. There they were, looking for Zemo and the other Winter Soldiers, all buddy-buddy again, and I thought, "Wait, wasn't there a scene in the trailer where the three of them are fighting and Cap says his 'I can do this all day' line? Did that get cut, or something? Seriously, you cannot cut that scene out."

And now for something totally different! It's not a superhero movie - it's not even vaguely science fiction or fantasy-related! Yes, believe it or not, on occasion I do watch and read non-genre fiction stuff. As you may know from a previous blog post, I am a fan of professional American football, so this movie seemed interesting to me. I'm also a fan of the standard sports-movie David vs. Goliath trope, which I had heard this story - based on true events - embodies really well. So did I enjoy it? I did. The idea that this one guy, an unknown coroner in Pittsburgh, had the guts to take on the behemoth that is the National Football League, is pretty inspiring. Also, it made me wonder why Troy Aikman, who suffered multiple concussions during his career, seems so coherent when he's doing his color commentary for Fox NFL broadcasts? Robotic implants, perhaps? Hmm... (see, I can never totally get away from genre fiction.)

Alice in Wonderland
So on that note, we return to our regularly scheduled programming. I actually had not seen this movie in the theaters the first time around, even though I thought it looked pretty cool, but since the sequel is coming out later this month and I am a rather avid supporter of portal fantasies, I figured it was high time that I got caught up (plus, it showed up for free on cable TV right at a time when I had a few free hours.) The verdict? I liked it more than I thought I would. A lot, in fact. Tim Burton and company kind of grafted a more traditional structure onto the original Alice story, which I have absolutely no problem with, and hearing Alan Rickman's voice as the Caterpillar made me grin stupidly. And doesn't it seem appropriate that Bellatrix Lestrange was once married to Burton? That doesn't really have anything to do with this movie other than the fact that Helena Bonham Carter, who was Bellatrix in the Harry Potter movies, plays the Red Queen who, in this movie, has a rivalry with the White Queen*, thus continuing the "Family Feud" subtitle of this post, and okay yeah now you see what I did there. Maybe. I guess. Whatever.

Next time: X-Men: Apocalypse (I promise), Alice Through The Looking Glass (probably), and Teenage Mutant Ninja...uh, no.

* Played by Anne Hathaway

P.S. Completely off-topic, but Stephen Curry is undeniable living proof that the Matrix is real.

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