I Knew Representation Was Important When I Was A Kid

As you've probably already guessed by now if you've been following this blog or any of my other activities, I'm a huge Star Wars fan. Have been ever since I was a kid. Even as an eight-year-old, however, I noticed that there was nobody in the original movie (Episode IV) that looked like me, specifically someone of Asian descent.

I didn't let this fact bother me or deter my fandom, however; I simply came up with the idea - apparently this process is now called "headcanon" - that all the characters in the film were technically aliens and therefore not of any one particular race or ethnicity, at least far as we know them on Earth (embarrassing admission alert: if I remember correctly, I believe I even wrote some short fanfic that said that Luke, Han, Leia et al were all descended from an original race called "Force-ians," or something like that.) Anyway, with that justification in mind, I was able to continue enjoying the subsequent entries in the franchise even though there were still no Asian actors (in George Lucas' defense, I've heard - whether this is true or not, I have no idea - that he originally wanted to cast Toshiro Mifune as Obi-Wan or Darth Vader, but was turned down).

Since then, diversity and representation in Star Wars and other works of pop culture in general has increased, which I obviously view as a positive development (there are many, many articles on the Internet that explore this topic in more detail; I'm just relating a bit of my own personal experiences here). Again, if you've been following this blog or any of my other activities, you know I'm a big proponent and supporter of diversity, inclusion, and representation. My Joel Suzuki series of novels has an Asian-American on the autism spectrum as its lead protagonist and includes a number of other characters from various minority communities. Some of my other projects (Glorified and Try Again Tomorrow being examples) also feature leads of Asian descent. I think it's important for kids to see reflections of themselves in the media that they consume, and so it's my hope that I'm doing my part so that nobody has to come up with a label as embarrassing as "Force-ian."*

* Although maybe Luke and Leia, being the children of Anakin who some theories say was directly conceived by midichlorians, could actually be considered "Force-ian"? Don't get me started

The Legend Of The Ghost Pepper, Revisited

In this week's episode of my band's podcast Second Player Speaks, we reminisce about the time almost ten years ago we went to local burger now-chain Killer Burger and attempted to eat their ghost pepper burger. I remembered that I had written a blog post about the experience, so for those of you who missed it or don't remember, I am republishing it today for your reading schadenfreude.*

Here's the confession of the day: I thought I was prepared for the "Marine" at local burger joint Killer Burger.

I love spicy food. I ask for extra jalapenos on my tuna sandwiches; I eat kim chee like candy; I pour sriracha sauce on my morning waffles. Okay, not really the last one, but you get the idea.

But this...this was not spicy. This was something totally different.

At Second Player Score practice one day, for some reason we started talking about ghost peppers. I'd never tried them before, but the word was that they were incredibly hot. I thought, "Mm, sounds good." So when, a week or so later, I saw an article in the paper about Killer Burger that mentioned their "Marine," a burger that contains ghost peppers, I thought, "Hey, we should try that!" So we put it down on the calendar as something fun we could do one day after practice. It even turned into an official band event of sorts, with band members' relations planning to bring cameras and such.

Weeks went by, and the event kept getting postponed by schedule conflicts and last-minute show opportunities. In the interim, I noted that Killer Burger makes you sign a waiver before you eat the burger, which I thought was a brilliant marketing move. "Oo, a waiver, how scary!" I also spent the time ratcheting up my Tabasco consumption, to the point where it hardly registered a tingle on my tongue. I was going to be ready for this.

Anyway, the big day finally arrived. We got there and saw the warning on the hand-written menu above the registers: "The Marine Hot! - DON'T ORDER THIS!!" I smirked. The cashier tried to talk us out of ordering it. I smirked again as I reflected on the genius business tactic of telling your customers not to buy your product. People will always do what you tell them not to do.

Ten minutes and a signed waiver later, they brought the burgers out with the same fanfare reserved for birthdays at chain restaurants. People looked at us like we were nuts. I thought, "Okay, seriously? Come on now, it's a spicy burger. Everybody relax."

I decided to start by dipping a french fry in their "lava sauce," which also apparently contains ghost peppers. THIS WAS A BIG MISTAKE. The moment it hit my mouth, I could tell that this was no ordinary kind of spicy. You know how, when you're eating spicy food, the heat seems to accumulate over time? Well, there was no "time" involved here. This was an entire Thai-green-curry-with-the-"hot"-option-reaction condensed into a single second.

And it got worse from there. My eyes started to water uncontrollably as I tried to remain calm. My lips were on fire, but my mouth and head weren't - instead, they were on something beyond fire; it was like they had been transported to some kind of unholy realm of torture where someone was inserting power saw blades into my skull.

And it wasn't just my facial region feeling the wrath, my stomach was a helpless victim as well.

Stomach: I'm hungry, isn't it dinner time?
Stomach: Okay, great, here comes something.
Stomach: Whoopee, it's a french fry. Can't you do better than that? Wait, it's covered in some kind of sauce that -
Stomach: AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEE

And mind you, I hadn't even started eating the burger yet. Through my haze of agony I could barely make out some kid at a nearby table egging us on, saying things like "C'mon, it's like Man Vs. Food!" I figured, okay, I have to at least take one bite of this thing. THIS WAS A BIG MISTAKE.

After a tiny bite, I was done. The pain and nausea increased exponentially until I was in a Homer-Simpson-Guatemalan-Insanity-Pepper-like state of psychosis. All I could do was sit there, staring into space, as my intestines quickly shriveled up and turned into dust. The kid at the nearby table was now saying things like "blrkjkg alijoit ghlkj ahiogh," or at least that's what it sounded like to me.

And it wasn't over. After feeling like I had recovered somewhat, more waves of pain ensued. This evil cycle continued for about an hour afterwards before I was finally confident that I had escaped from the ghost pepper dungeon.

So yeah, they weren't kidding about the waiver.

Once coherency had returned, I did some research and found out that the ghost pepper, or Naga Bhut Jolokia, is roughly TWO HUNDRED TIMES hotter than Tabasco sauce. And that it can be used as a weapon. Well, duh.

I thought I could handle spicy foods. Turns out I had absolutely no idea.

Originally published 9/17/2012

* Pleasure derived from someone else's misfortune

Super-Easy Surf 'N' Turf: A Recipe In Haiku

Easy surf 'n' turf

A recipe in haiku

Results may vary

The ingredients:

Twelve pieces pre-breaded shrimp

Ten-ounce ribeye steak

One can of mushrooms

White rice, quantity to taste

One cup of green beans

Cook rice like always

Trim steak, add salt and pepper

Don't forget both sides

Preheat the oven

Follow directions on box

For the breaded shrimp

Add some oil to pan*

How much oil? Just a little

Set stove to seven

Cook the steak to your

Desired doneness level

Turn heat down to five

Remove steak from pan

Drain water from the mushrooms

And also the beans

Add both to the pan

Turn heat down to one

Stir, wait, stir, wait, stir

If you followed all

The directions for the shrimp

Then they should be done

Remove 'shrooms and beans

Combine everything on plate**

Make sure stove is off

This makes two servings

Total prep and cooking time

Thirty-five minutes

Crack open a beer

Take picture, post to Facebook

Sit down and enjoy

* Believe it or not

Yes, "oil" is one syllable

"Oi" is a diphthong

** Also, "everything"

Is really three syllables

English is so weird

The Tale Of The Missing Twelve-Pack

Recently, Facebook reminded me of a post I had written (on Facebook) five years ago called "The Tale of the Missing Twelve-Pack." I read it and thought, "Wow, that's actually a pretty cool story. I wonder why I didn't turn it into a blog post?" I couldn't think of any good reason why I didn't, and so, five years later, here is that story.

Last week Wednesday I bought, among other things, a twelve-pack of Laurelwood IPA from my neighborhood Fred Meyer. At home about an hour later, I thought, "Okay, maybe I'll have a beer with dinner." But when I looked for the beer, it was nowhere to be found!

I looked in the usual place that I store beer and other beverages. Not there. I thought, "Okay, it must still be in the car." I looked in the car. Not there. I thought, "Really? Where else could I have put it?"

After checking every possible location multiple times, I came to the conclusion that the beer was simply not anywhere within the vicinity of my house. I mentally retraced my steps. Could I have left it on the Fred Meyer U-Scan? Not likely. Could I have left it in the shopping cart? Possible, but not probable. Could it have been stolen by wizards, or perhaps somehow lost in the Matrix? That seemed to be the most logical explanation, so I decided to chalk it up to a learning experience and then forget about it.

Then this evening, there I was, back at the Fred Meyer U-Scan once again. As I was scanning groceries and making sure to bag cold stuff with other cold stuff, the attendant comes up to me and says, "Hey, did you lose a twelve-pack of beer last week?"

Me, attention piqued: "Why, yes. Yes, I did!"

Him: "Laurelwood, right?"

Me, pleasantly surprised: "Indeed!"

Him: "I remember you! Yeah, someone found it in a cart in the parking lot and turned it in. If you go over to customer service they might still have it."

I went over to customer service. They did not have it, but they did have a record of it. A very nice young woman there suggested that if I go over to the beer and wine department, I should be able to pick up this long-lost (okay, week-lost) twelve-pack of beer.

So I did. And the two gentlemen there were very courteous and helpful. I reclaimed my lost treasure and headed out, faith in humanity restored. At least for the moment.

Moral of the story: Fred Meyer is awesome. And so is the person who decided to turn in my purchase rather than take it home and drink it themselves.

Anime Roundup

It's time for another edition of Anime Roundup! I know, it's only been four weeks since the last one, but I've been trying to cram in as much anime as I can before other shows like Obi-Wan Kenobi (finally!) and the new season of Stranger Things (also finally!) come out.

Spy x Family

A brand-new show with a fantastic premise: a James Bond-ish superspy takes on a mission that requires him to pose as a family man, and so he adopts a young girl - who unbeknownst to him is a telepath - and enters into a faux-marriage with a woman who is actually a master assassin. All three of them have their own motives for staying in this arrangement, and only the girl knows the true identity of her "parents" (but won't reveal anything). I mean, that practically writes itself, doesn't it? Although I do wonder at times just how good of a spy the "father" really is if he isn't at least a little suspicious of his "daughter's" precociousness or his "wife's" amazing hand-to-hand combat skills. Oh well, I'm sure the plot will thicken as the show goes along; it's doing the slow-drip release strategy with only six episodes (out of 25) out so far. Manga readers, don't tell me what happens!

Blue Period

This one is an emotional drama (adapted from an award-winning manga) about a smart but directionless high school student who discovers that his life's passion is making art. The storyline mainly revolves around his efforts to get into art school, while also delving into the dramatic details of both his own personal life and his friends'. I especially liked the show's depiction of one of said friends and their gender identity issues (and the use, in the English subtitles at least, of the pronouns they/them). There are moments of levity here and there and the overall tone is optimistic, creating a nice balance with some of the heavier themes...kind of like a painting, I suppose? I don't know, I'm a writer/musician, not an artist.

Kaguya-sama: Love Is War

A vignette-style rom-com about two high school students - the president and vice president of the student council - who have crushes on each other but no one wants to make the first move out of fear that it'll put them in an inferior position to the other (kind of like the whole "hand" thing in the Seinfeld episode "The Pez Dispenser.") I mean, we've all been there, right? Top-notch humor writing, impeccable comic timing, and a ridiculously catchy theme song make this one tons of fun (if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. Sing it with me now: "Love is war / Love is war / Love is waaaaaaar")

Bofuri: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, So I'll Max Out My Defense

Don't you just love that title? I did, so I had to check it out. What I found was what I think can be most accurately described genre-wise as slice-of-life meets virtual reality isekai (portal fantasy) - kind of like K-On! crossed with Sword Art Online. Seriously. The main character is a girl with limited experience in video games who, at the behest of her gamer friend, begins playing a VRMMORPG (virtual reality massively multiplayer online role-playing game, say that ten times fast) and, not wanting to get hurt, puts all of her experience points into her defensive stats while neglecting everything else (strength, agility, etc.). It's a strategy that on paper shouldn't work, but when combined with her resourcefulness and general naivete, leads to her leveling up so much that she quickly and almost accidentally becomes one of the game's strongest players. In true slice-of-life fashion, most of the show just focuses on her and her growing group of friends/co-players playing the game and leveling up without much in the way of real stakes or drama - if you die, you just log back in the next day - and believe it or not, it works. (Maybe the stakes get higher later on? Manga readers, don't tell me what happens!)

Den-Noh Coil

Now here's a show that was ahead of its time. It came out in 2007 and depicted a near-future where AR (augmented reality) and MR (mixed reality) technology is immersive and commonplace, with most schoolchildren owning and wearing AR glasses that allow them to interact with their environment (while also doubling as phones). In addition, it features other tech that wasn't really established in 2007 but is more well-known now, like wearable computers, self-driving cars, and virtual currency. Netflix recently picked it up and I was drawn to it since my own project Four-D also features kids wearing smart glasses, although they use it not for AR but to see into the fourth spatial dimension (if that sounds good to you and you are an executive producer or investor or someone with deep connections in the entertainment industry, let me know).

Until next time, mata ne!

Volume Six And Seven Status Updates

At the last update eight weeks ago, I said that Joel Suzuki, Volume Six was ready for a line edit, and that Volume Seven was up to 16,000 words (around 64 pages).

What a difference two months makes! Since that previous post was published, Volume Six has been fully line-edited, and all the accepted editorial revisions have been applied. I even finished the back cover copy. Now, it's just a matter of doing the formatting and getting the cover art done. Look for a subtitle announcement in the near future!

As for Volume Seven, it's now up to 30,000 words (around 120 pages). The way it's going so far, when this volume is finished I think it'll be the longest installment in the series by far at an estimated 100,000 or so words (400 pages, yikes!), surpassing Volume Six's 90,500 words (362 pages). I hadn't originally planned it that way, but I guess it makes sense considering that it will be the epic finale to the whole seven-book arc.* We shall see. Either way, I'm really enjoying writing it, which is always a good sign. Stay tuned for more updates!

* Long-time readers of this blog and/or fans of the Joel Suzuki series may recall this post that talked about the possibility of there being Volumes Eight through Eleven, which, if they happen, will probably be "post-adventures" that happen outside of the main seven-volume story.

Happy Children's Day!

A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog post celebrating Hinamatsuri, or Girls' Day, which happens every March 3rd in Japan and Hawaii. Since it fell on a Thursday/blog day this year, I figured that a post would be appropriate.

There's another Japanese holiday that happens every May 5th that used to be called Boys' Day but was apparently changed to Children's Day ("Kodomo no Hi") when I wasn't looking BACK IN 1948 WHAAAT? This year, it too falls on a Thursday/blog day, hence this post.

The funny thing is that I always knew it as Boys' Day, even though I've lived literally my entire life during the time after the name was changed (I'm old, but not THAT old). Maybe Hawaii just never got the memo. Suffice it to say, though, that I completely approve of the change.

In Japan, Children's Day caps off something called Golden Week, which is the period between April 29 and May 5 in which four separate holidays are celebrated and a lot of people just generally take the entire week off. The history of Golden Week is rather complicated, with days changing and moving and being added or subtracted (during the early days of Covid it was rebranded as "Stay Home Week" and extended in both directions) but the bottom line is that it sounds like a fun time that I wish we had here in the States.

Anyway, Happy Children's Day to all!